Legalising cannabis ‘the only way to find out WTF is going on in Boris’ head’ say MPs

Home Affairs, UK Politics
Legalising cannabis 'the only way to find out WTF is going on in Boris' head' say MPs

A group of cross-party MPs who’ve been on a fact-finding trip to Canada predict the UK will fully legalise cannabis use within five to ten years.

MP for North Norfolk, Norman Lamb said, ‘It’s the only way to find out what the fuck is going on in Boris Johnson’s head. Last week he was going around parliament asking whether he should select a pink frog in a diamond studded tutu as his Foreign Secretary. Sadly, he was advised against it and we ended up with Dominic Raab.’

Mr Johnson will visit Scotland today to deliver a speech on strengthening the union,

and as a tribute to his predecessor he plans to walk onto the stage to music. The new PM has will swagger on to ‘Because I Got High’ by Afroman before making a speech ‘spreading peace and love, man’ whilst desperately hoping Ruth Davidson has Kit Kats and Doritos in the cupboard.

The trip has led Tottenham MP, David Lammy, to change his view on the issue and he now supports the legalisation of cannabis for recreational use. He said he wants the market ‘regulated’ to prevent criminals making money from its sale.

But Boris has said there’s no way his government is ‘missing out on all that filthy lucre’.

As part of the visit Mr Lamb tried cannabis oil for relaxation purposes and said he ‘slept incredibly well’.

He now plans to rush through cannabis legalisation so that he can ‘have a fucking shed load of the stuff and sleep through the entirety of Boris’ premiership.’

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