LEAKED: The full list of questions from tomorrow’s David Cameron interview

Entertainment, Art & Culture, Popular Right Now, UK Politics
Whoops! I fucked a pig - title of Cameron's autobiography leaks to the press

Monday night, 8pm, on ITV – Tom Bradby interviews David Cameron

TV screens around the UK are expected to be ruined – if not by the rage-inducing face of ex-Prime Minister and absolute ball sack David Cameron, then certainly by the damage caused as we all throw our faeces at the screen the second he opens his piss-filled void of a face.

It’s the one thing currently uniting Leavers and Remainers right now.

The News Dump have managed to get our hands on the full list of questions Cameron will be asked.

  1. Did you use a proper undercoat for your shed or the tears of a broken nation
  2. Will you be a tiny bit disappointed when Boris Johnson takes the crown of worst Prime Minister from you?
  3. Have you come up with an alternative UK flag for when Scotland and Northern Ireland claim independence?
  4. Does Samantha get angry if you call her ‘Babe’ during sex?
  5. How come your wikipedia page has no mention of Rebekah Brooks?
  6. What part of ‘we’re all in this together’ seems to work for you considering the country practically split 50/50, after Someone’s Bright Idea?
  7. When you’re on holiday in Panama and you meet a stranger. What do you tell them you do for a living?
  8. Now you’re President of the Alzheimer’s Research UK, have you forgotten what a great place the UK was in 2012?
  9. How do you think ‘Aston Ham’ (sorry no pun intended David) will get on in the premiership this season?
  10. Are you happy knowing you’re a massive cunt?

Which burning questions do you think are missing from this list? Pop your suggestions in the comments.

(Contributors: Brad Holcombe, Robbie Sunderland, Harry Palmer, Roy Darby and Trevor Rudge)
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