The UK is at ‘significant’ risk of floods as the threat of climate change looms, the environment agency has said.
This will also be the new adversary faced by James Bond in his upcoming 25th feature film.
The movie, with the working title “WetWilly”, will see Daniel Craig’s 007 dispatched to flood prone areas in order to shoot/seduce the problem into submission. Other titles being reported include “Live and Let Dry” and “Moistfinger”.
Environment agency chairwoman Emma Howard Boyd warned “we cannot win a war against water”.
But later added: “Not without laser watches and jetpacks built into shoes.”
An estimated £1 Billion needs to be invested to properly protect new and proposed properties, the enviroment agency report concludes.
“But that money can just as easily be spent on sending Daniel Craig to Jamaica to make the same film for the 25th time…”
The film acknowledged changing attitudes towards the environment, with the announcement that Bond will drive a hybrid car.
“I never knew things could get too wet,” he quips, throwing back a martini in footage that recently leaked. Though not as bad as everything else is going to leak once flooding starts.
The film will also feature extensive sequences of Bond consulting with Q over the best method for offsetting the carbon emissions caused by his jet setting adventures.
It has already been announced that this will be Daniel Craig’s last film as the spy, with Rami Malak joining the cast as a villain.
It is not currently understood how Malak will portray a flood, though it’s assumed motion capture will be involved.
“Freshen my drink,” orders Bond, his eyes smoldering hot enough to evaporate water, “And try not to drown it.”