Self-employed tiler John Timms admitted he was genuinely curious to learn how the government planned to U-Turn on their promise to issue the 80% grant during the lock-down period.
‘Carers across the country are putting their own lives at risk on the frontline’ said Hancock. ‘And to let them know how much they are appreciated we’re giving them this new badge that they can wear with pride. But this doesn’t seem to be enough for some people, ungrateful bastards. Some people and never happy’.
With fears that people may not follow government guidelines on going outside and respecting social distancing this weekend, police and local authority officials have been patrolling to monitor the situation. And it appears that much of the problem stems from both sexes being told that 2 metres is equivalent to 6 inches times by twelve.
The world’s longest ever game of ‘Where’s Priti?’ is finally over after the Home Secretary appeared at Saturday’s Coronavirus daily briefing. Ms Patel appeared wearing the trademark red and white jumper and bobble hat as she opened the briefing by mocking the press for not being able to find her for the last three weeks.