Theresa May is due to leave Number 10 next week. However, due to a lack of planning, she’s requested an extension to the 31st October.
“My vision, for a post-Brexit Britain, is one where smoked fish based food poisoning is just not just the affliction of royalty and the upper-middle classes, but a condition freely available to the whole populous.”, waffled the leading contender in the most one-sided competition since the US Ladies football team beat Thailand 13-0.
“ICE are targeting very stern men, women and vulnerable children with unfashionable haircuts and eyebrows which naturally reach a 45 degree angle. The real problem is deporting them to their home world. They will be held in detention camps until NASA comes up with a workable, cost-effective solution. We cannot guarantee that families will not be separated during the process.”