Number 10 insider John Timms claimed that to deter immigration they’d worn their heart on their sleeve by electing Boris Johnson “We want moving to the UK to make as much sense as investing in a balloon animal stall managed by Edward Scissorhands.”
The blues have come up with a rather novel approach to immigration. All immigrants are to be sawn in half on arrival in the UK thus halving immigration. This has immediately been criticised by the right as it will double the number of immigrants. But the Conservative centre allay these fears by pointing out that sawing in half is, in most cases, fatal.
Many trained professionals in the NHS have left Britain during the past 3 years of Brexit discussions, due to bigotry, deportation, or a general fear for the ‘moral fly tipping site’ the country has become. These foreign staff are still employed by the NHS however, much to the Conservative party’s smouldering outrage, and as such make the commute from their respective home countries.