Labour beg remaining remain voters not to Leave them – and refuse to see the irony.

UK Politics
Labour beg remaining remain voters not to Leave them - and refuse to see the ironyLabour beg remaining remain voters not to Leave them - and refuse to see the irony

This week, national darling Brexit bring news worries that will certainly unite the country, by further dividing the country. Speculation surrounds emergent independents and C-List parties, who might finally be getting their own turn in the limelight to fuck everything up.

The Labour party is set to take the first hit as the party’s neglect of pro-EU voters catches up to them. The avid ‘remainer’ numbers that Labour accumulated last election show signs of flocking elsewhere, to the hard stances of Green and the Liberal Democrats.

Pamphlet promises have come through many doors, from Green’s “Stay in the EU” bullet point, to the poetic words of the Lib Dem’s “bollocks to Brexit”, which is of course inspired by the famous Tennyson poem of the same name.

This controversy was sparked by YouGov’s latest intention survey, which shows huge growth for protest votes on both sides of the debate.

Support for the principle two parties has declined, their votes spread across the board in a move that is being called “Literally anything else.” Political analysts have quickly taken to the information, whilst others have complained about the influx of “spoilers” for next week’s ̶e̶p̶i̶s̶o̶d̶e̶ vote.

Reportedly, nearly half of Labour votes dislike their party’s approach to Brexit, with 4 in 10 preferring other options. If facts and figures are still to be believed in 2019, 76% of the general public dislike Corbyn’s approach.

Spectacularly, the ever-vague Labour has somehow managed to not please anybody, not exploring other Brexit options, whilst also alienating Leave areas by not ruling out the possibility of another referendum.

The loss of numbers is part of a larger issue that also faces the Conservatives, who lost 10 times as many councillors in this month’s local elections. “The vast majority of 2017 Conservative voters who voted Leave in 2016 now plan to vote for the Brexit party in the EU elections (78%), with only 12% staying loyal.”

In the years since 2016, it seems as if many have muddled what side it is they’re exactly meant to be on, where the black/white boundary even is now and what this Brexit malarkey was all about anyway.

These accurate figures are taken from a representative sample of over 7,000 Brits.

This sample size is notably larger than the usual for intention polls and also the highest attended Brexit Party rally so far. Great turn-out, boys! In terms of growth, The ‘Brexit’ ‘Party’, with it’s bold manifesto of [REDACTED] has quickly taken the lead.

Farage’s latest vanity project is the clear benefactor of new support, with 35% of the vote. Whilst goldfish-brained votes for the Lib Dems beat Labour with 16% of the vote.

It is thought that party disenfranchisement will make a large impact on upcoming votes, like pressing a panic button on a crashing plane with five pilots. Voters are reminded that mass protest votes for new, manifesto-less parties are totally normal, and NOT the beginning of a post-truth purgatory.

The Conservatives managed to get the 5th place tin trophy, with 9% of the vote…

and 9% of their dignity after losing this poll to the Greens. The Greens.

Maybe no amount of milkshakes or Green votes will impact the fasch-glamour of the Brexit Party. Whether the opposition can converge in time remains to be seen. It is hoped however, that in whatever shape it takes, the country will soon find common ground. (Which is incidentally, what Farage calls the outer boroughs.)

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