Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn are to clash in a head-to-head television general election debate on 19 November. The live show is to be the first TV debate of the general election campaign.
Whilst originally thought that the broadcast would be snaffled up by ITV for its 9pm golden spot, a late bid from the BBC has secured this ‘Clash of the Tits.’ However, the subsequent announced by the over 75s TV licence thieves that the programme had NOT been scheduled in a prime broadcasting took media watchers completely by surprise.
Pundits were shocked even further when it was announced by the pensioner robbers that this political broadcast was scheduled to take place at 6:15pm on the CBeebies channel.
A delighted Director General of the BBC, Tony (Lord) Hall crowed, “In matters like this it is important to know your audience. That’s why we’re broadcasting this event on a children’s channel.”
Pressed as to whether Hall expected a flood of complaints about the time and channel he has set for this head-to-head between these two political big-shitters, the DG admitted this was a concern.
“Viewers needn’t worry,” said Hall, “This is a one off. I would ask that our audience be patient with us till we reorganise our schedule and find a later slot to broadcast The Clangers.”
However, other political party leaders have been hot off the mark to demand they also take place in this programme (the head-to-head, not The Clangers).
First off the mark was ‘Wee Jimmy Krankie’ lookalike and leader of the SNP, Nicola Sturgeon.
“As a diminutive person with a big mouth and only one thing to say I demand that Scotland is not ignored and that I also take part in this scrap,” shouted Sturgeon from an upturned fish box on the quayside in Ullapool, “Three people all talking over each other is better than two!”
Leader of Plaid Cymru, Liz Saville-Roberts, was also quick onto the complain trail with her comment, “Ni allaf gredu eu bod wedi gohirio’r Clangyr?” This roughly translates as ‘I can’t believe they’ve postponed The Clangers?’