John Kelly to swap White House for more relaxing role. In the desert, single-handedly fighting ISIS.

UK Politics, World News

General John Kelly became the 25th member of the Trump Administration to leave – after announcing this week that the would step down from his role of Chief of Staff by the end of the year.

The 68 year old general is reportedly looking for a more relaxing role – travelling instead to the Middle East early next year in order to confront ISIS, by himself, with one hand tied behind his back.

“I know many people will accuse me of going for the soft option, but at my time of life I’m entitled to slow down a little,” grimaced the distinguished military man who for the last 18 months has been trying to bring some semblance of sanity to the Trump administration.

“I’m greatly looking forward to fighting the massed forces of ISIS, it’ll make a nice change from what I’ve had to deal with in Washington.”

Political commentators say that General Kelly’s disciplinarian attitude was being met with increasing anger and tantrums from the man-child president.

Among the tough measures which were introduced by the Chief Of Staff, Mr Trump was only allowed to watch 17 hours a day of his favourite TV show Fox and Friends – any viewing after that point had to be programmes on more sophisticated channels like Disney or CBBC.

A White House press spokesperson told reporters that a decision on who will take over from General Kelly won’t be made for a few days, because Mr Putin is currently on holiday.

Commentators are all wondering whether Kelly has any advice for his would-be successor. What do you need to be able to work with President Trump on a day-to-day basis?

“A big bag of rusks and ample supply of wet wipes”, said Kelly.

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