Britain’s Prime Minister, who last week branded the leader of the opposition a ‘chicken’, has today shown his incredible bravery by legging it after hearing a few boos from a small crowd in Europe.
Boris Johnson was in Luxembourg yesterday to meet with its leader Xavier Bettel, with whom he was scheduled to hold a press conference, until he pulled out, claiming it was ‘too noisy’.
“At least, that’s what we think he said”, an onlooker told us. “It was a bit hard to hear the excuse he gave, to be honest, mostly due to the fact he running away as fast as his legs could carry him. And sobbing.”
Just a couple of days earlier, Boris Johnson has compared himself to The Hulk, an entirely fictional character who famously has difficulty maintaining a steady relationship or controlling his emotions.
Luxembourg resident and convenient mouthpiece Eileen Tootherleft told us: “I don’t know much about The Hulk, but I can’t imagine he’d run away from a handful of people holding pro-EU placards and engaging in a bit of lighthearted booing.
“I thought the British Prime Minister was supposed to be brave? They certainly always used to be, back before the Tory leadership contenders were picked from a number of Trust-fund Eton-educated wankers at random out of a hat during a heavy night at the Bullingdom Club.”
She concluded: “It’ll certainly be interesting – and quite possibly entertaining – to see how such a courageous leader copes when his nation starts rioting over medicine and food shortages.
“We’ve all got our popcorn ready over here.”