Jeremy Corbyn asks Boris to ‘tone down the socialism’ as it’s making him uncomfortable

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Boris Johnson has effectively introduced the Universal Basic Income after agreeing to pay 80% of employees’ wages.

Jeremy Corbyn has asked Boris to tone down his incredible acts of socialism as it’s making him look as right-wing as the Koch brothers.

The Prime Minister has, so far, injected hundreds of billions into the economy, brought interest rates down, is about to embark on an enormous quantitative easing programme, started doling out sick pay to nearly all, as well as introducing what is a thinly-veiled UBI to see the UK through the pandemic.

The commie-hatted Labour leader, could potentially have said, “Boris has gone so far left during this pandemic that he’s basically Ryan Giggs.

“Especially in the [REDACTED] department, between the [REDACTED].

“He’s implementing a big bunch of proposals that even I – future leader of Venezuela – would baulk at. I’m feeling very uncomfortable, as he’s done a lot of it a lot quicker than I would’ve done.

“He’s fixed global warming by a progressive agenda of stopping all flights and travel and not allowing anyone to use their cars.

“There’s no more smog and pollution in London AND he’s also turned the vast majority of the country vegetarian, as three selfish twats are buying all the fresh meat every single morning leaving nothing but cans of sweetcorn for the rest of us.

“This level of leftism is frankly too dangerous and I’m glad I’ve actually been made to look like an arch-capitalist.”

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