Japan Discovers Missing Chapter from World’s First Novel ‘Tale of Genji’ and Guess What? – The Fucking Butler Did It!

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Japan Discovers Missing Chapter from World’s First Novel ‘Tale of Genji’ and Guess What? - The Fucking Butler Did It!

The missing chapter of the oldest copy of Japan’s ‘Tale of Genji,’ a book often referred to by historians as the world’s first novel, has been discovered at a home in Tokyo.

“I was caught short,” said the man who discovered the missing chapter, Jo Hashimoto (92), “The misses was using the bathroom for her morning ablutions so I had to rush outside to the dunny in the garden. It was only towards the end of my plop that I discovered there was no bog paper stuffed behind the down pipe. So, I had to scratch around under the pot for something I could use. I found this bundle of parchments shoved in a hole in the slats. It was only when I started using it that I discovered that it was the long lost chapter. My immediate thought was ‘this’ll be worth a few bob,’ followed by ‘I don’t envy the blokes at the museum scraping the dottle off the few sheets I’d already used.”

The centuries-old manuscript, which contains the missing chapter from Japan’s most famous work of literature, has been authenticated as the oldest in existence by experts.

Highlighting the importance of the missing chapter, Junko Yamamoto, a literary professor at Kyoto University of Advanced Science stated, “Tale of Gengi pre-dates other great works from antiquity literature such as ‘King Herod’s Guide to Promoting Religious Harmony,’ ‘Noah’s Exotic Animals Cooking Tips’ and ‘Jimmy Tarbuck’s Little Book of Chortles.’”

Yamamoto then added, “However, I must confess to being more than a little disappointed with the content. I was expecting something unique, cerebrally challenging, innovative and timelessly mystical but instead it was just the same old cornball shite. The plot was formulaic, the characters derivative and the dialogue laughable. Quite frankly, I’ve read better Jeffrey Archer books and he’s a twat.”

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