After being roundly mocked on social media, including by us here at The News Dump, Jacob Rees-Mogg has explained his bizarre beaviour in the House of Commons, saying he was merely attempting to increase the size of the ailing Conservative majority by lying down on one of the benches in the House of Commons.
The leader of the House of Commons faced criticism after being photographed lolling almost horizontally on the front bench during the significant parliamentary debate over a bill to block no-deal on Wednesday evening.
In a series of telegrams today he defended his actions, saying, “My lying down on the front bench in parliament was not an indicator of a slovenly approach to my work, nor was it a sign of any fatigue or laziness – in fact, I have all the energy of a a wind-up bunny.
“No, this was a rather clever way – if I may say so myself – of increasing the number of Conservatives in parliament. As you know, Dr Philip Lee left us for the Liberal Democrats, unfortunately, but as party size is measured in the number of seats occupied in the House of Commons, I took the ingenious step of taking up a number myself.
“Three, or perhaps four when I was lying down. I might bring my top hat in next week and push it up to five. If nanny and some of my children come in too, then we might get our majority back!”
Political commentator Dick Splatt noted, “Whatever his reasons are, however flawed they may be, you can’t just loll around like you own the place.
“Although actually, considering the inherited wealth of his family and the family that he married into, this is probably literally the case.”