“It’s just one thing after a-fucking-nother” says Queen as it is claimed Prince Andrew used the N-word

The Royals
Grand Old Duke of York now wishing Jeffrey Epstein hadn't been one of his ten thousand men

Prince Andrew has been accused of using the N-word in a conversation with a senior political aide, adding to the royal’s woes after his BBC Newsnight interview regarding his friendship with the sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

Palace sources told us the Queen, on hearing the latest allegation against her son, could be seen pacing through her picture gallery muttering swear words under her breath before stopping and banging her head against ‘Lady at the Virginals with a Gentleman’ by Vermeer. Between each head bang the Queen was heard saying “why, is, my, family, so, fucking, stupid?” over and over again.

The claim was made by Rohan Silva, a former aide to David Cameron, who met the prince at Buckingham Palace in 2012. He says Prince Andrew responded to a question with “if you’ll pardon the expression, that really is the [N-word] in the woodpile.”

Wondering where her son had heard such an out-dated racist expression the Queen came to the conclusion that he “probably heard his useless fucking father saying it”. She then, in her frustration, kicked a passing corgi.

The same phrase was used by Conservative MP Anne Marie Morris in 2017, prompting the party to suspend for her for several months.

The Queen agreed with this policy and once she gets hold of Prince Andrew plans to suspend him by his ankles from the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

The PR advisor to the palace asked the Queen for her opinion on Prince Andrew doing another interview with Newsnight to address these latest allegations of racism. There is now a position available for PR advisor to the palace after the last incumbent suffered a car crash in a Paris tunnel. 

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