Boris Johnson described his commitment to NATO as ‘rock solid’.
After confusing the international alliance of 29 member states with Natalie, the receptionist that greeted his arrival at the summit.
Speaking to reporters at a press conference after the summit, Mr Johnson said ‘real progress’ is being made towards meeting a target to spend 2% or more of economic output on defence.
And that he’s also made ‘real progress towards getting that young filly in the sack’.
Natalie said, ‘there was never more than a 2% chance of that’. But she confirmed the PM was ‘rock solid’ upon his arrival. ‘I couldn’t believe it,’ she said, ‘I was just doing some filing when I saw this massive cock come through the door. Then I realised he had an erection’.
She described the PM as ‘full of promises’ in his desperation to impress her but said he wasn’t able to convince her that anything he promised would actually materialise. She also said his chat up technique needs refining as he just repeatedly said he wants to ‘get sexing done’ but didn’t really seem to have any clear idea about how to go about it other than making a vague promise to withdraw before the end of January.
‘I was taken in for a little while,’ said Natalie, ‘cos he seemed quite naïve and sweet, but once he thought he had a chance with me his whole demeanour changed. And when he said he had a great idea to sort out my backstop I kicked him in the nuts and ran away’.