Jacob Rees-Mogg has claimed that, despite what critics may say, he is “enormously environmentally friendly.”
Rees-Mogg hit back at his critics by listing a series of green policies he has implemented in his workhouses.
-Recycling bins near every giant corn-grinder.
-Electric guard fences powered by wind energy.
-Homemade compost heap/mass grave.
-Re-usable water bottles (1 per 20 workers) full of rain runoff.
-Workrooms with up to 0 lights.
-Not using paper bills, but paying his workers online. (Workers do not have internet access)
-Reusing bandages and medical cloth.
-Cardboard grave markers.
-Not buying manacles/shackles with excess packaging.
-Planting a tree for every child worker who dies.
Rees-Mogg has also claimed that his 1936 Bentley is saving the planet, as “the running of old cars is less than the carbon inputs to create them”.
This reasoning that ‘things made years ago cost less energy’ , is why the medical community still uses leeches, hand cranked drills and a ‘saw and rag soaked in whiskey’ amputation combo, instead of anything with the slightest slither of electricity.
While Mogg’s claims are partly true, emissions experts said that Rees-Mogg’s claims ignore “carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides and total hydrocarbons that contribute to killer air”
The equivalent of saying you’ve taken the cocaine out of a speedball, so now it’s merely harmless black tar heroin.