Hugh Grant pretends to canvas, while searching door to door for Martine McCutcheon

Entertainment, Art & Culture, UK Politics
Hugh Grant goes door to door searching for Martine McCutcheon (while pretending to Canvas for the Lib Dems)

Hugh Grant is encouraging tactical voting in the December general election by going door to door with MPs.

Keira Knightley is no longer answering her door ever since that creep rocked up with his gross placards.

Grant was out canvassing with Liberal Democrat candidate Luciana Berger in an attempt to stop Brexit

and to find his secretary, Natalie. Grant was spotted in the Finchley and Golders Green constituency – the dodgy end – speaking to the public about free movement and singing Good King Wenceslas with a bald chauffeur who moonlights as an opera singer.

Speaking to Lib Dem supporters after canvassing, Hugh admitted that he was not “a life-long Lib Dem supporter”

However, he hopes they too get to experience dancing around 10 Downing Street instead of improving the country.

Regarding Brexit, Grant believes that “Britain has changed its mind”

“Falling out of the EU without a deal is only going to end badly. It’s the international equivalent of straight up sprinting through airport security: someone is going to die.”

He referred to Ms Berger as a “politician of principle”

“Boris Johnson, however, is the kind of guy who would by a sexy heart necklace for his colleague and a Joni Mitchell CD for his wife.”

Grant spoke to many residents on his door to door visits.

One of whom identified himself as as a Brexit Party member by incongruously shouting “I’m Colin Frissel and I’ve got a big nob” in response to any and all questions.

Hugh found support in Colin Firth who wants to cancel Brexit so it’s easier for people to marry Portuguese women they’ve not exchanged a single word with (but not their sister who is is ugly which is obviously hilarious).

Grant plans to visit various constituencies and support other parties with tactical voting against Brexit.

Rowan Atkinson also plans to randomly turn up twice for no reason.

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