HS2 “will shave 20 minutes off the 50 years Brexit knocked the UK back” says Boris

Business, Home Affairs, UK Politics
HS2- Slightly quicker trainline massively over budget

Boris Johnson has today explained the reason that he has given his backing to the HS2 project going ahead ‘in full’ at a cost of around £100bn.

The new trains will allow mostly business people, initially between London and Birmingham, to arrive at meetings that often over-run by an hour due to poor agenda planning, up to 20 minutes earlier so that they can grab an extra coffee.

In a statement this morning he said that it was the ‘least the government could do’ to begin the re-modernisation of the UK.

“Over the past couple of months, this government has taken the country back at least half a century and many of our critics believed that we had no plans to remedy this. Indeed, some even said that we weren’t aware of it.”

“However, today we have made a firm statement of intent that we will claw back those lost 50 years, even if it is 20 minutes at a time. We will bring Britain back into the 21st century.”

“We realise that, in order to claw us back to modern times at a cost of £100bn per 20 minutes may seem expensive, but we can achieve this by diverting funds from the NHS and poor people, which has worked a treat up until now.”

When the Prime Minister was asked how he would raise the £131,400,000,000,000,000 that he would need (not taking into account inflation) to bring the country up to date 20 minutes at a time, he confessed that it ‘may take some time.’

“We will stick to it and we will get a new, independent and forward thinking Britain bang into the 21st century within our 80 year target.”

“Donald has already offered in excess of £60 for the NHS, so that’s a great start.”

 

 

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