London is practically deserted after the government introduced measures to restrict social gathering and disperse groups of more than two individuals.
However, members of the House of Lords have today awoken to find most of London completely deserted, like they’re the protagonist in an apocalyptic thriller, which is what they all believe anyway.
Hereditary peer, Baron Lord Sir Barabus Valentine KBE CBE OBE MBE B.A. (Hons), 94, said “Blimey, I came in here for a nice snooze whilst they were talking about something or other and, like 90% of others, feel asleep as we gathered for warmth.
“Suddenly, Sajid Javid has been overthrown by some socialist nutcase and the capital is completely empty!
“Now, I’ve got to go somewhere called ‘Self-Isolation’, which frankly sounds a little too Northern for my liking.”
The peers are being marshalled out one-by-one not within 2 metres of one another; difficult as most were asleep on each other’s shoulders.