Hospital waiting times hit record levels, as staff have to make the daily commute from Europe.

Home Affairs
Hospital waiting times hit record levels, as staff have to make the daily commute from Europe.

Hospital performance in England is at its worst level on record, data shows.

This is due to the fact that many members of staff are having to commute from Europe.

Many trained professionals in the NHS have left Britain during the past 3 years of Brexit discussions, due to bigotry, deportation, or a general fear for the ‘moral fly tipping site’ the country has become.

These foreign staff are still employed by the NHS however, much to the Conservative party’s smouldering outrage, and as such make the commute from their respective home countries.

The Conservatives have declared the need for the NHS to be staffed by British citizens of any skill level, rather than trained foreigners with the requisite talent to not accidentally murder somebody with an improper IV dosage.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson said “huge demand” was to blame.

“We know what the people want, and it is more buildings. Not staff or equipment, but more physical hospital buildings. That’s why we pledge to have over 40 new hospitals built in the next decade. All staffed in the single digits, and with nothing but floors of silence, dust, and the creeping reminder of failed promises. That is what the British public want.”

But Labour leader Mr Corbyn said the performance figures were “disgusting” and a lack of staff and funding was to blame.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson hit back at these remarks, stressing they had spent considerable time and money importing tumbleweeds from abroad to staff these empty wards.

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