HM Revenue and Customs said it received 60,000 reports of phone scams in the six months to January 2019 – up 360% compared to the previous six months.
However, it has been revealed that the mastermind behind this increase in scam calls is none other than Secretary of State for Transport, Chris Grayling, who is trying to recoup £33m of wasted taxpayer’s money by replacing it with even more of taxpayer’s money.
Sources have told us that Prime Minister Theresa May had told Mr Grayling to “Gather as much money as you can, at least £33 million”. When Mr Grayling asked Mrs May why he needed to gather the money she replied, “I don’t know, I just have a feeling you’re going to f**k something up, may as well prepare for it now”.
Nearly 26 million homes have a landline phone, according to Ofcom, meaning they could all be at risk from scams.
It’s been reported that Mr Grayling had hoped only one scam call would be needed to recoup the full amount of his future blunder – now revealed to be a huge settlement given away in the Eurotunnel lawsuit.
“He just called my house phone screaming at me to give him money”, said one victim of Mr Grayling’s attempted scam, “I’ve never heard someone so bad at scamming. He started off by telling me his full name and position in government and then went on to beg me for the full £33 million. Apparently he didn’t have enough credit on his Nokia 3310 to call the twenty-five million nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand other houses”.
Treasury minister Mel Stride said anyone who was suspicious about these calls should hang up and report it immediately.
This isn’t the first attempt by the Transport Secretary to regain the wasted money. Before thinking of scam calls, Mr Grayling had apparently used his £1 million pocket money from mommy Theresa May on a 33/1 PaddyPower accumulator, where only one result from the Botswana Premier League let him down.
Scammers often target older and more vulnerable people. Caroline Abrahams, director of charity Age UK, has urged people to be cautious of cold calls asking for money.
“I knew it was him straight away”, said 107-year old Margaret, “He’s been asking me out for years, sometimes he doesn’t even call, I just get a text message from him saying ‘U up?’ at 2am”.