A Home Office flight deporting convicted offenders to Jamaica has left the UK, despite a last-minute legal challenge on Monday night.
Included on that flight is Hampshire resident Colin Collinson (54) of Barton Stacey who purchased a Bob Marley and the Wailers album in 1985.
Home Secretary Pritti Patel said those on the flight included serious offenders
“Obviously the Home Office can’t comment on individual cases, but those individuals who have decided to listen to mainstream Jamaican music run the risk of having their UK Resident status revoked, in the dystopian state we call post-Brexit Britain”, smirked the Home Secretary, “Bob Marley and his popular beat combo, The Wailers, are near the top of a list of artists including Black Uhuru, Peter Tosh and Yellowman”, read the most popular Home Secretary since 2019, from her Spotify ‘Fans Also Like’ list.
The Government has carried out the Deportation despite a Court Order stopping 25 others who had been due to leave, amid concerns they may not have had access to legal advice.
“The Government is disappointed that the High Courts have ruled that the purchasing of some Jamaican influenced music is not worthy enough of deportation”, Ms Patel grinned whilst extracting hairs from a kitten, one by one, with a pair of blunt, rusty, tweezers, “And I’m sure I speak for everyone who had to endure endless dinner parties to the soundtrack of UB40 in the ’90s. These people are a menace to society and knew perfectly well what they were getting into when they committed those historical popular music purchases. ”
Labour MP David Lammy has stated that some of those deported were non-violent crime offenders and one-time drug offenders
“I stood in my local record store ‘The Liquorice Pizza’ one Saturday with ‘Legend’ in one hand and Phil Collin’s ‘Hello I Must Be Going’ “, a clearly distraught Mr Collinson Facetimed from an airliner above the Atlantic, “Seems I made the wrong choice 35 years ago”.