Hampshire Council blames ‘Prince Philip Death Notice’ on an internal error. “The assassin called in sick, but HR forgot to update the system”.

The Royals
Hampshire Council blames 'Prince Philip Death Notice' on an internal error. The assassin called in sick, but HR forgot to update the system

A notice about the death of Prince Philip that was briefly published by Hampshire County Council is being blamed on an “internal error”.

The note was not supposed to appear until the assassin had completed his work.

However, he is believed to have called in sick.

The Queen denied any knowledge of the hitman, simply saying ‘Philip usually deals with that side of things.

The notice appeared on its front page before being swiftly removed.

Much as the Duke was supposed to have been.

The council apologised for the blunder, declaring it would be investigating the “highly unusual and regrettable occurrence”.

The council has a history of highly unusual and regrettable occurrences. Because it’s a council.

It comes in the light of the news that the Crown Prosecution Service announced it would not be prosecuting the prince over a crash in the vicinity of the Sandringham estate.

If it did, it would be literally the only time in history the Service would have been appropriately named.

The BBC discovered the erroneous webpage during checks for news about the leader of the county council stepping down.

Proving how efficiently our licence fees are being used.

A council spokesperson said: “In order to be able to respond quickly to events, the county council has procedures in place to ensure it is well-prepared for all eventualities. These measures include draft web pages for significant events.”

Other significant events included the rise of socialism, a footballer’s new tattoo and the obliteration of the entire world due to nuclear holocaust sending confusing signals about the council’s target audience.

“Unfortunately, as a result of an internal technical error, one of these pages was inadvertently published.”

The technical error was put down to someone pressing the ‘Publish’ button without really doing any fact checking.

The guilty party had previous experience of working on Vote Leave’s Facebook page.

“We apologise sincerely for this having occurred and we are apologising directly to the Lord Lieutenant and Buckingham Palace.”

Buckingham Palace refused to comment. Because, you know, it’s a building.

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