Following Piers Morgan’s outrage at the vegan sausage roll, the team at Greggs, devout fans of BBC Breakfast, couldn’t wait to conjure up more pastry-based meat-free foods to really get under his skin.
The firm also revealed its profits were up by more than 50 per cent to 40.6million in the first six months of the year.
‘Morgan’s prime time outrage at our vegan sausage roll resulted in a staggering leap in sales and many (many) vegans in our queues. We figured that veganising all our products would secure more income from the meat-free pound. That this could potentially incense Morgan so much he implodes, is merely an unfortunate side effect.
Speaking on LBC radio, Mr Whiteside said the company was also working on a ‘special product’ but would not reveal what it was because ‘it would be giving away everything to our competitors.’.
‘Let’s just say that breakfasts are going to get a whole lot less meaty in the coming months. Hopefully this time, they won’t make Morgan vomit,’ said Mr Whiteside, head to toe in tie-dye as he skipped off into the sunset, fingers crossed behind his back.