Gove says he’s ‘evolved’ as Boris sits in a tree and beats his chest

UK Politics

Tory leadership hopeful Michael Gove has said he’s ‘evolved’

while contender Boris Johnson sat in a tree beating his chest and eating nuts.

Mr Gove said he was ‘incapable of being PM’ after pulling out of the leadership contest in 2016.

But the MP for Bellend Central went on to say that Theresa May has been a fantastic example for anyone who thinks they’re incapable, that they can ‘just give it a go anyway’ and he feels he ‘can’t do any worse.’

He said that he has ‘been through a variety of experiences’ in the last three years,

and that while he may have previously been seen simply as a ‘bloke that looks like a shaved bollock’, he is now a ‘a bloke that looks like a shaved bollock and has a policy in Brexit.’

Asked for his opinion on Mr Gove’s statement, Boris Johnson said, ‘Ooh, ooh, ooh!’ before climbing on a tyre and doing a somersault. He then picked his nose, scratched his arse and farted – which was described as his most significant contribution to politics in years.

Mr Johnson went on to describe himself as the ‘King of the swingers’ – a bold claim for any Tory MP.

Both men originally went head to head to replace David Cameron in 2016,

before realising that, at that time, leadership of the party was something of a poisoned chalice. But after Theresa May spent her time in number 10 arranging a sensible and professional response to Brexit, they both view now as the time to run, as the winner gets to take over with Brexit sorted and the Tory party in a strong position to move forward.

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