Gove Mocks Stormzy’s Labour Support – Challenging Him to (Posh C)Rap Battle on Twitter

Entertainment, Art & Culture, UK Politics

Michael Gove has mocked the rapper, Stormzy, for expressing his support for Labour and Jeremy Corbyn in the upcoming election. Gove told Talk radio, “I think we again know that Stormzy, when he took to the stage at Glastonbury wearing a Union Jack stab vest, he made it clear what his political views were then”

The wet-lipped school spanner and all round creepy bastard (Gove, not Stormzy) then went on to boast that he could write better rap lyrics than Stormzy, and to this end Gove confessed he had uploaded a few on Twitter just to prove what a twat he is.

These included:

‘It’s tuff on de streetz’ – a rap by Michael Gove:

‘It’s tuff on de streetz in Westminstah,

Specially when Diane Abbott I’nt wearin’ her bra,

I’se gotta sit opposit hah,

An’ two sword lengths apart in’t dat fah.’

 

Also:

‘Bein’ a Judas ain’t all gud’ another rap by Michael Gove PM (oops, too early)

‘Bein’ a Judas ain’t such a blast,

‘Cos de bad tings I did in de recent past,

Like stickin’ it to Boris just won’t last,

‘Cos It’ll cum back and bite me in de fuckin’ ass! ‘

 

… and let’s not forget the immortal:

‘If I profane with my unworthiest hand,

This Holy shrine, the gentle fine this is,

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand,

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss… on Boris’ bear arse… innit!’

 

The editor suspects that the last of these raps is not entirely the work of ‘old wet lips.’

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