Seagulls. Already known for stealing our chips, the RSPCA in Taunton thinks they might be stealing our booze too – after nearly 30 of the birds have been found drunk and disorderly in the area in recent weeks.
A spokesman for the seagulls responded: “What the fuck are you talking about mate? You come round here talking shit about me and my mates and you’re asking for trouble. What were we talking about? You’re my best mate. Got any chips?” before shitting all over the bar and flying off screaming.