Gammons left with egg on their face as UK grants EU citizens right to remain after Brexit

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Gammons were left with egg on their face as it was revealed that EU citizens will have the right to remain in the EU after Brexit.

Guy Verhofstadt said he has been given assurances by the UK.

Dave from Bridgend, an ardent Leaver and Brexit Party supporter said he was ‘livid’ at the news as he’s told his mates that he personally solved the immigration problem by retweeting anything that included #FreeTommyRobinson and adding a Union Jack to his profile picture.

Mr Verhofstadt said there will be no ‘automatic deportation’.

Dave is said to be ‘gutted’ as he and his mate have hired a Ford Transit for 1st February and had planned to ‘round up foreigners and take them to Calais.’

Under the Settlement Scheme, EU citizens living in the UK can apply to stay after Brexit.

The scheme is likely to be reciprocated meaning Brits who live on the continent (cos that’s different innit) such as Dave’s father in law, will enjoy the same benefits.

In October last year Home Office minister Brandon Lewis indicated those EU nationals who fit the criteria but hadn’t applied to stay by the deadline would be deported.

Yesterday Mr Lewis said things are ‘different now.’ He told reporters ‘That kind of racially aggressive rhetoric was necessary to secure a parliamentary majority’ but that voters were ‘naive if they think any of that bollocks is actually deliverable.’

Dave said he feels the government have let him down after all he’s done to ‘help deliver Brexit.’ He raged that he ‘shared the shit out of’ every Nigel Farage video, spent 4 years live tweeting made up facts to Question Time and once shouted abuse out of his car window at a mother and child who ‘looked a bit foreign.’

Conservative MEP Daniel Hannan praised the Settlement Scheme describing it as more ‘generous’ than any of the 27 member states.

On hearing that, Dave became agitated with his face turning an even deeper shade of red and steam coming out of his ears.

Mr Verhofstadt also said there is a possibility of EU citizens sitting on the independent monitoring authority which will be in place to oversee immigration matters.

This caused Dave to begin spitting fire which in turn set light to his shirt. As he screamed for the fire brigade, he was informed there were no fire fighters available as Brexit has been such a drain on public money, but fortunately, ‘that Polish bloke that’s alright actually’ and works at Dave’s usual car wash, was on hand to put him out.

Dave said he now feels ‘a bit silly’ and, despite turning every conversation he’s had since 2016 onto Brexit, shouting down anyone with a different opinion, and loudly declaring he ‘won the referendum’ every time he’s has a couple of pints, he hopes that if he keeps schtum people will just forget he made such a song and dance about voting to leave in the first place.


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