Further Brexit extension now ‘likely’ as PM told bluster and bullshit don’t count as negotiation

UK Politics
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UK officials have confirmed that a further Brexit extension is now ‘likely’ after new European Commission president, Ursula von der Leyen told Boris Johnson that ‘bluster and bullshit’ don’t count as negotiation.

Boris Johnson has said the post-Brexit transition period will not be extended beyond 31 December 2020.

But after his first meeting with Ms von der Leyen saw the Prime Minister do nothing but shout ‘Get Brexit done’ 118 times, the EU are concerned they’re in conversation with a loudmouth moron who doesn’t really understand what it is he’s promised.

And Downing Street are equally worried. An insider told us, ‘The meeting was a joke. The EU officials turned up prepared, with ideas and suggestions for how we could move forward. Boris brought the colouring book from his Christmas stocking, a fidget spinner and a loudspeaker.’

Ms von der Leyen said she was ‘very worried’ about how little time was available.

In particular, there are concerns that it will take most of the eleven month transition period to teach Boris how to spell “EU”.

During the transition period, the UK will cease to be an EU member, but its trading relationship will remain the same.

So, we’ll continue to buy shed loads of crap from anywhere that keeps costs down by completely ignoring workers rights, and carry on exporting crates of empty promises from the phantom factories which still haunt once proud industrial towns in the Midlands and up north that are still reeling from the Thatcher years.

The UK will still follow the EU’s rules, such as accepting rulings from the European Court of Justice and will continue to contribute to the EU’s budget.

Although NHS bosses have asked for those two facts to be kept quiet amid concerns that, should an extension be agreed, they may not be able to cope with the surge in Brexiteers presenting at A&E with symptoms such as exploded heads and self-gouged eyes.

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