Fucking, fucking fuckers fucking the fucking cuntery

UK Politics
Fucking, fucking fuckers fucking fucking cuntery

A bunch of fucking, fucking fuckers are fucking the fucking cuntery… – sorry, Freudian slip – we mean ‘country’.

The Conservative Party won won a stunning majority, winning 47 extra seats with only 300,000 extra votes, whilst the Liberal Democrats lost a seat despite gaining 1.3m extra votes.

This constituency stuff really does promote democracy.

Page 48 of the Conservative manifesto states: “After Brexit we also need to look at the broader aspects of our constitution: the relationship between the government, parliament and the courts.”

Yep, fuck the democracy they’ve been bleated on about for three years, as they now shout ‘well, democracy is soooooo 2016, isn’t it? Autocracy is where it’s at nowadays.

Look at the world. North Korea, China, Russia – these guys are in the news all the time! America is following their lead. Who wants to be a boring country not generated headlines all the time. Yes, any news is good news for UK plc!

Those judges are all enemies of the people anyway. They’ve spent their entire lives studying and becoming the top-most experts in the field of law, crescendoing at exactly the time in history when we apparently ‘don’t need experts’. Bummer for them!

Also in the same area, is the pledge to ‘update the Human Rights Act’ of their manifesto.

A fact that bodes well for the treatment of satirists, when they are inevitably thrown in prison.

Brexit is happening in January.

Like we need more evidence that this will fuck the country. Except if you are either (a) rich and avoid tax or (b) are a disaster capitalist.

The Tories promised not to sell off the NHS.

But they will, won’t they? We all know it. There will obviously be some spurious definition where it won’t have been sold off – ie. it just ceases to exist, but ‘we didn’t sell it off though, did we?! Eh!? EH!?!?!’

According to the Resolution Foundation thinktank, child poverty is also at risk of rising to a record 60-year high under a Conservative government as the manifesto retains the benefit cuts put forward by the coalition.

Yes, looks like the fucking, fucking fuckers are preparing to fuck the fucking country some more.

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