Labour pledges free personal care for over-65s in England
The Labour Party want free care for the elderly because they can’t afford to keep Jeremey Corbyn in man-nappies and personal care.
The bumbling old fool has repeatedly interrupted the party’s conference in Brighton by putting his hand up to go for a pee, usually too late.
‘The whole front row stinks of piss’ said one source.
Mr Corbyn was unavailable for comment, because he’d fallen asleep face down in a bowl of pea and ham soup
In anticipation of a general election this autumn, Labour has already pledged this week to axe prescription charges
In another money saving scoop they plan to remove prescription charges which will boost the coffers because currently 90% of Labour MP’s are on anti-depressants.
The remainder are taking speed so they can stay awake during Mr Corbyn’s speeches.
Corbyn himself takes a cocktail of drugs just to keep going including a powerful hallucinogenic which allows him to believe he could one day be Prime Minister.
In terms of personal care, he has been unable to shave for some years giving him the appearance of a homeless person.
This has proved useful because he keeps the party in tea bags by selling knock off copies of ‘The Big Issue’ outside The Mercure Brighton Seafront Hotel in the evenings.
“I believe the right to dignity in retirement is a part of that right to health at any stage of life,” Labour Shadow Chancellor John McDonnel
Now we see the real reason behind the move, they want the old git to retire!