Audio recordings have revealed top Fox News host Tucker Carlson using misogynistic and offensive language on a controversial radio show.
On hearing Mr Carlson’s misogynistic and offensive language US President Donald Trump immediately invited him to join his cabinet. “Misogynistic and offensive behaviour is exactly what my cabinet is about” said President Trump, “We also haven’t been involved in a breaking news headline for over two minutes now and I need constant attention to survive”.
Mr Carlson described women as “extremely primitive” and “basic”. The Fox News host has also invited “anyone who disagrees” with his views to come on his show.
Unfortunately, no one was able to attend the show as it was impossible to fit the hundreds of millions of people who disagree with Mr Carlson’s comments onto the two-seater sofa.
With news of Tucker Carlson’s cabinet appointment, it has been reported that Boris Johnson is also eyeing up a spot on Trump’s team. It’s part of his long-term plan to become US President, after failing for years to become British Prime Minister.
Mr Johnson has already begun his attempts to mirror Mr Trump’s image by adopting the same haircut and will most likely attend his cabinet interview sprayed with orange Wotsit dust to seal the deal.
The unearthed recordings reveal Mr Carlson calling into a controversial radio show known as ‘Bubba the Love Sponge’.
Spongebob Squarepants’ sex-crazed alter-ego declined to comment on the incident itself, but believes Tucker will make a “fine cabinet misogynist”.
Kevin Spacey was also briefly given a position – because President Trump was halfway through House of Cards at the time, and confused him with a real politician. Since become aware of the allegations of abuse, Mr Trump has had to let him go – not because of the allegations of abuse, but because they were allegations from men. “This cabinet is only for misogynists I’m afraid” said Trump.
In the recording, Mr Carlson also refers to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton as “the biggest white whores in America” and says that Oprah Winfrey and Hillary Clinton are “anti-man”.
It’s yet to be revealed when Marvel plan to release Anti-Man into cinemas, but with terrible comments like Carlson’s, you really couldn’t blame Winfrey and Clinton for being it.