The Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s home has been renovated with £2.4m of taxpayers money, royal accounts show, after leaving Kensington Palace in April
“It was a difficult decision, to take on Frogmore Cottage”, former actress, The Duchess of Sussex, lamented, “In the end, the decision to move was easy. We just needed to get away from the horrendous neighbours.”
Frogmore Cottage in Windsor has been converted from five separate dwellings, that previously housed Windsor Estate workers, into a single 10 bedroom property for Prince Harry and Meghan.
“Turfing five families out onto the guarded streets of the Estate was a heart wrenching and difficult decision”, an emotional Duchess said “but the £2.4M really softens the blow. Do you have any idea how hard it is for an unemployed actress and self-employed charity worker to get a mortgage? Also as a US citizen, I don’t qualify for social housing”
The 19th Century property was given to them by the Queen and the renovation paid for out of the Sovereign Grant.
“The other upside is that there is only one lot of council tax to pay The Royal Bourough of Windsor & Maidenhead Council, instead of five”, beamed a radient Duchess, “Although we are now in Band H”
Latest figures show that the average price of a house in the UK in April 2019 is £229,000
“Do you know how much property prices are in the Windsor area?”, protested The Duchess of Sussex, “You simply cannot get a house in Berkshire, with a dozen bedrooms, in a gated community, for anything under £5M. I’m sure my Subjects will be grateful they funded the renovations of a property, my husband’s family already own, plus keep me in the style I’ve become accustomed to. I’m sure they don’t want us to live in box “, she smiled.
Defective wooden ceiling beams and floor joists were replaced and inefficient heating systems updated
The Duke also required a completely new games room with helicopter simulator, whereas The Duchess insisted on a modest fifty seater private cinema, so she can enjoy repeated viewings of ‘Dysfunctional Friends’.
The renovations cost the UK taxpayer £2.4M, but the fixtures and fittings were paid for by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex
“It was the least we could do, after the kindness the serfdom has shown us”, responded a sympathetic Duchess, “After all, we are just a young family desperately trying to get on property ladder”