The UK food industry has threatened to stop co-operating with government policy consultations, saying it is busy trying to stave off the “catastrophic impact” of a no-deal Brexit.
The industry said it regretted the use of the word ‘catastrophic’, but there hadn’t yet been a word invented that made it sound worse than that.
The warning came in a letter to Environment Secretary Michael Gove from more than 30 business leaders.
They have warned him that there may not be enough food for him to stuff either of his faces.
They said it looked “ever more the likeliest outcome” that the UK would leave the EU without an agreement.
An outcome that we could all just have decided at the start – like Jacob Rees-Mogg did – and used the last two years to fix the problems the country needs to rectify rather than randomly generating ones of its own making.
Those signing the letter included the heads of the Food and Drink Federation, the National Farmers’ Union and UK Hospitality.
In fact, UK Hospitality is believed to no longer exist. Ask any foreign nationals residing here.
The letter says that large amounts of time, money, people and effort are being diverted to mitigate the catastrophic impact of a no-deal Brexit.
A fact that suggests perhaps the Food Industry’s personnel would be better equipped at coming up with a Brexit deal.
The letter comes just two weeks after major retailers warned MPs that a no-deal Brexit would cause huge disruption to the industry, leading to higher prices and empty shelves in the short-term.
Only a single retailer was looking forward to empty shelves. And that was IKEA.
Sainsbury’s, Asda and McDonald’s were among those who warned stockpiling fresh food was impossible.
When asked what particular fresh food they used, McDonalds shrugged and mumbled ‘just saying…’.
It’s believed only the superfood kale can be stockpiled, as it appears to taste exactly the same fresh as when it’s gone bad.
The supermarkets said that the UK was very reliant on the EU for produce.
The fact was not noted at all during the Leave campaign, with Brexiteers putting it down to ‘Project Fear’.
The famously two-faced Mr Gove has not yet acknowledged the letter, busy as he was sharpening his knife to slam into the back of any of his friends that may inadvertently turn around.