Prime Minister Boris Johnson attended his first ever PMQs today, but the affair was a hostile and confrontational one.
Boos and insults were thrown across the parliament floor, with verbal jabs and an unprecedented level of hostility being seen from both sides.
Following this, both sides have agreed that the most constructive solution will be for the next PMQs to take place at an rap battle in a (private) underground parking facility near Westminster.
During the PMQs, an irate Johnson uttered the phrase “Shit or bust”.
Insults were thrown on both sides, with Boris Johnson calling Jeremy Corbyn a “Big girl’s blouse”, and a “Chlorinated chicken.”
It was agreed that these insults led to honest and engaged debates, and House Speaker John Bercow suggested bringing the next PMQs to ‘the streets’ in order to make the most of this energy and vitriol.
Johnson will assemble his crew ‘Vic-Tory-us’, while Corbyn will be repping with his ‘Democratic Soc-illz’
Both parties will perform solo, and duo matches, with speaker Bercow performing duties as an impartial ‘MC for the MPs’.
Slough MP Tanmanjeet Singh Dhesi demanded an apology from Johnson, for his remarks comparing burqa-wearing Muslim women to bank robbers and letter boxes.
Dhesi is expected to be a part of Corbyn’s rap battle crew, along with Angela Rayner as ‘Secretary for State of educating fools’, and Dianne Abott as ‘Shade-throwing home secretary’.
With regards to Johnson’s crew, he is reported to have asked for “anybody but fucking Gove.”