Flooding means Northern Powerhouse may now have to be raised up on stilts

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Flooding means Northern Powerhouse may now have to be raised up on stilts

Firefighters have been deployed to rescue people after severe flooding in northern England. Properties have been hit and roads and rail lines are blocked.

Plans have now been introduced to raise the Northern Powerhouse on stilts to avoid any water damage should this occur again. Boris Johnson has already pledged to back the stilts “Bloody fantastic idea, y’know, good for jobs, good for the country, good for really getting on and um, seeing underneath the house.”

According to the Met Office, 19mm of rain fell in the North West over eight hours from midnight. This is in addition to the heavy rain that hit the region on Sunday and Monday.

The Angel in the North has been moved to an upstairs room of the powerhouse and Sean Bean and Peter Kay have both been safely evacuated. Unfortunately, there was too little time for police to enter the house and collect belongings from the Greggs kitchen, and we can confirm over 200 damp sausage rolls are still resting in the property.

Last night passengers on East Midlands, Northern and TransPennine Express services were told they faced delays. Northern reported that services in Manchester, Liverpool, Lancashire and Cumbria were badly hit.

Members of the public wishing to access the powerhouse have been turned away due to the flooding, with Tallulah Purple, a tourist from Surrey, saying “I knew I shouldn’t have used public transport but my hubby insisted on the authentic northern experience. I just wanted to catch a glimpse of Brian Blessed trimming the weeds in the Northern Powergarden for my instagram.”

Police are stationed at the end of the Northern Powerstreet waiting for further information.

A nursery, several homes and a farm were also flooded.

As the government has no plans to build a high-speed rail network straight to their front door no stilts will be made available.

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