US President Donald Trump has continued the Thanksgiving celebrations tradition of pardoning a pair of turkeys before a gathering of press at The White House. The pardoned birds are due to be relocated to enjoy their golden years at Gobbler’s Rest, the Virginia Polytechnic Institute in Blacksburg.
However, serious concerns about the fate of these two pardoned turkeys was raised after the leader of the free world, self declared Braniac and fanny magnet Trump, uttered under his breath ‘Jamal Khashoggi’ as he named one of the birds.
Observers of the unfettered power of money and evil will recall that this was the name of the Saudi journalist who popped into his embassy in Turkey for a marriage license and emerged in several black plastic bags.
Whilst every effort humanly possible has been carried out by Clown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, the de-facto ruler of Sadli Backwardia, to discover who perpetrated the deadly deed, the culprits remain unpunished. Trump has been steadfast in his support of the prince as, in a straight fight between dollars and morals, it’s a slam-dunk to Mr. $.
A spokesperson for the ‘Eat Grass & Live On Your Knees’ Society , Ms. Libby Ral, said, “We are extremely worried about these pardoned critters. The name Khashoggi has become a by-word for cruel murder in American society. We have every reason to believe that these two birds will not spend their twilight years gobbling around on a farm in Virginia but instead wind up on some fat, cheese-ball headed comb over cretin’s dinner plate.”
Ms. Ral added, “We all know what a tight wad Trump is. He doesn’t even pay his dentist, for fuck’s sake! Who wouldn’t square up with a man who puts sharp instruments in your mouth? I reckon he’s blagged both of them and his wife-daughter Ivanka is plucking them clean even as we speak.”