Dominic Cummings could be forced to appear before a parliamentary inquiry into fake news, after a minister accepted that the government’s reasons for keeping him away were invalid.
Beelzebub’s little wizard on Earth, Cummings, was defiant as he pissed out of his upstairs window onto the press pack gathered below, bellowing, “It’s all fake news, you morons! I will NOT be appearing in front of any committee, parliamentary or otherwise. I am above all of that crap and answerable to no one, not even my Mum.”
However, ‘Satan’s little helper’s’ outburst has enraged MPs. First to enter the spitting contest with the unelected shit-lizard was the elected shit-lizard, ex-chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee, ‘snortin’ Keith Vaz.
“This man’s arrogance is breath taking. He is absolutely shameless,” barked the fat ‘rent-boy-ophile’ and illegal class-A drugs procurer Vaz, “It’s men like him that bring politics into disrepute.”
Also quick to condemn Cummings was Jeremy Corbyn, saying, “This man is unelected, out of control, and real and present threat to democracy in our country.” However, it was subsequently discovered Corbyn was actually zonked on Mogadon at the time of the interview, with his words spoken and jaw operated by Seumas Milne.
Mr Cummings was found to be in contempt of parliament earlier this year after refusing to appear before the Commons Digital, Culture, Media and Sport Committee’s inquiry into fake news and disinformation.
When asked why he refused to attend this committee’s hearing, Cummings, zipping up his flies, yelled from his upstairs window, “I can’t stick Damian Collins. Just looking at him makes me want to barf. Have you seen his head? It’s like a red cabbage that’s gone off.”