Experts claim just one cyanide pill can fix Brexit

Health, Lifestyle and Family, Popular Right Now, UK Politics
Experts claim just one cyanide pill can fix Brexit

Scientists have come up with a daily pill, the polypill, that can cut the number of heart attacks and strokes by a third and cost just pennies.

The polypill is a variation on the company’s existing product, polyfilla. It works by sealing up the mouth of the patient so that they can be fed a controlled diet via intravenous therapy.

It’s not yet been calculated how much the polypill could save the NHS, but it’s claimed to be ‘a substantial amount’.

However, some scientists have gone a step further in producing just one pill that will save the whole country an estimated £600 million a week. “All we have to do is persuade Boris Johnson to take it,” said one member of the team slipping the tablet into a box labelled Viagra.

Bake Off judge Prue Leith is the latest celebrity chef to be recruited in the quest to improve the food hospital patients eat. However, some have pointed out that similar attempts to address this problem in the past have been costly and not achieved their goals.

Whereas the polypill resolve the problem by not needing any hospital catering at all. One scientist who helped develop the product just laughed and said, “Just let them try to eat cake!”

And the team behind the polypill are keen to emphasise that it’s not just Brexit it could fix. ITV have shown great interest in the pill after claims that it could improve Good Morning Britain if taken by a certain member of its cast.

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