EXCLUSIVE: PM already interviewing for her dream post-Brexit job

Popular Right Now, UK Politics
Theresa May dons high-vis vest in attempt to secure post-Brexit job as Lolly-pop lady

Theresa May was spotted in a high-vis vest whilst lending a hand at a Good Friday race.

The PM was helping out by handing water to thirsty runners. Despite the promise of well-earned refreshment, riled event attendees complained the plastic cups were actually empty.

Many runners were left for hours with no refreshments as organisers failed to reach agreement on which brand of water to use. ‘Evian’ sounds too French anyway, explained chief event organiser and leave campaigner Sue Ridge.

Mrs. May attended the event to ease her transition into the role of Lolly-pop lady post-Brexit. With plenty of experience in making people ‘cross’, this could be the perfect role for the soon to be former Prime Minister.

After Brexit, if there are any teachers left, Mrs. May’s potential role as Lolly-pop lady would involve the responsibility of getting kids across the road and into class on time.

Originally, Education Minister Damian Hinds was ear-marked for the job, but as the words ‘piss-up’ and ‘brewery’ sprang to mind, Lolly-pop officials decided against it.

Another role Mrs. May is said to be considering is a Traffic Warden, which would be ‘just the ticket’ for someone who’s spent years in the type of employment that infuriates everybody.

Mayhem’s right hand man David Lidington was also spotted in a high-vis vest preparing for work post Brexit as he emptied dog-shit bins in the park.   With his experience working alongside the PM and the rest of that shower, Parks and Recreation boss Hugh Jarse commented: “it’s like this position was made for him”.

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