Europe is in the midst of a Heatwave – with temperatures reaching up to 33 degrees centigrade
Donald Tusk, president of the European Council, has called for the heatwave due to hit Europe to be banned from entering the UK, insisting no force on this Earth would make him budge.
Before the EU referendum, Mr Tusk warned that the long-term consequences of the UK leaving Europe were ‘dangerous’ and ‘completely unpredictable’. Warnings included prices for stuff rocketing and very British problems becoming even more bothersome, such as queues getting longer and nothing ever being said, as people will be far too polite.
Critics are likening the latest Brexit development to problems faced by Brits desperate for holiday sun. European leaders have been compared with ‘European’ holiday makers who get up early and nick all the sunbeds by leaving towels on them.
Ivor Woodhead, founder of the ‘let’s find ingenious new ways to talk about the weather’ society told The News Dump:
“Frankly, we are tired of constantly being excluded from the good weather. When the UK joined Europe, the first few years weren’t so bad. However, over the past 15 years or so, each summer has got progressively worse as those European leaders keep taking our summers and giving them to the likes of Spain”.
Counselling bodies have expressed concern over the effects the ban on good weather will have, predicting more people than ever could be forced to seek help as continued talking about the weather could lead to murderous thoughts, and excessive use of those orange cagoules.