Dancing On Ice will beat rival show Strictly Come Dancing to featuring a same-sex couple on the show.
Not to be outdone, the Conservative Party’s European Research Group has plans to introduce an entirely same-sex Cabinet.
Steps singer “H” will be teamed up with professional Matt Evers.
However, the Conservative Party’s right-wing propaganda arm plan to team up Boris Johnson with 11 other rich ex-Etonians with values steeped in the early 1930s, perhaps as early as ‘as soon as people realise how incompetent Priti Patel actually is’.
After annual speculation, it’s the first time same-sex couples have been confirmed as featuring on a television dance competition.
Senior backbencher and ERG member, Lord Sir Barabus Valentine, (K+C+O+M)BE, said, “For too long now, we’ve seen equality in Cabinet and, frankly, it’s a disgrace.
“Female ladywomen are way too emotional for any of the positions. Look at Theresa May: she was so emotional she was compared to a robot; a metal object that films teach us could get angry very easily and rise up against the human race.
“No no no. Much better that men, preferably with a viewpoint straight from the 1930s, look after everything as it was uncouth for them to cry back then.
“I don’t know why people say we aren’t progressive. This move is entirely progressive and would see the first all-male Cabinet since… well, since the last one.
“This is a great forward move for men’s rights! And you have the Conservative Party to thank for this.”