Election: Brexit party, Muppets, Mafia, Flat-Earthers and Syphilis agree pact!

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General Election- Brexit party, The Muppets, The Mafia, The Flat Earth Society and Syphilis agree pact

Liberal Democrats, Greens and Plaid Cymru agree pact

Nigel Farage and his band of loonies, not to be outdone by irritating, screeching, schoolteacher-type Jo Swinson, are to form what they call an unstoppable force made up of real winners.

Swinson’s coalition of the Lib Dems, The Greens and The Welsh, collectively known as ‘The Libergreens’ (a pun on the band The Libertines, who’s concerts attracted more people than the Lib Dems do voters) will come together under the slogan ‘Please Notice Us‘ in an attempt to seize power from grown ups.

Even if those grown ups are a bunch of cunts.

Mr Farage aims to outdo them with a tour de force pulled together from the fringes of society where reality is no more relevant than other mythical constructs such as decency, fairness, peace, love and humanity.

The Flat Earth society, who see no irony in boasting about their global following, have agreed to join Mr Farage because they are mostly unemployed and think it might be a good way to meet girls.

The Mafia will be providing the muscle and the money, and nobody has complained because if the Brexit party fails to gain enough seats they’ll hang Farage from a meat hook.

The muppets joined by default on the basis that they already occupy 85% of parliament and Syphilis has joined because that’s the only way Mr Farage or anyone else in his entourage is likely to contract an STI.

The fact that any of these parties have about as much chance of forming a government as a millennial buying a lunchtime pint is besides the point.

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