The World Health Organization says the spread of Ebola in the Democratic Republic of Congo is not yet a global health emergency.
With the decision to be reviewed if a westerner contracts the disease.
Prof Robert Steffen, chairman of the WHO’s emergency committee on Ebola, said declaring an emergency would not change anything on the ground.
But added that it might be an opportunity for UK news agencies to spend a day reporting on something other than Brexit.
The World Health Organization said it had received only half the money it needed to tackle the disease, and funds are now urgently needed to ‘avoid a public health emergency of international concern.’
Prof Steffen called on the cast of Eastenders to record appalling renditions of musicals on the set of Albert Square as a means of raising funds. He said, ‘Celebrities doing sketches ranging from banal to mildly amusing gives Brits a great opportunity for the public displays of charity they so love.’
Cases of Ebola have been increasing in recent weeks and the WHO says the risk of the virus spreading to neighbouring countries is ‘very high’.
UK civil servants have been tasked with assessing the potential risks to UK nationals living in those neighbouring nations. The results will determine whether the government take action or simply issue a statement saying ‘Bless ‘em. They’ve had a hard time of it lately, haven’t they?’
The WHO said the risk of the virus spreading globally is low.
Theresa May is said to be ‘disappointed’ as she had planned to fake the symptoms in one last throw of the dice at gaining some public sympathy.