Eamonn Holmes to pay more tax than Amazon

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Eamonn Holmes to pay more tax than Amazon

Eamonn Holmes could be hit with a bill of up to £250,000 after losing a case against the taxman over how he is paid.

The blow to the erstwhile TV presenter has been made worse when he realised that he would be paying proportionally more UK tax than Amazon, the multinational US-based technology company.

In 2018 Amazon the HMRC £220M on a £10.9B turnover (approx. 2%). Eamonn Holmes has an estimated net worth of £3M 

 But the hefty tax bill is a direct result of him having taken advice from fellow daytime TV presenter Lorraine Kelly, who managed to convince the HMRC that “Lorraine Kelly” is a fictional daytime TV presenter.

“Despite all my gaffs on TV, it seems that the taxman really does believe that the on-screen Eamon Holmes is exactly the same as the off-screen Eamon Holmes”, a clearly distraught real Eamonn Holmes protested.

Eamon Holmes is a Manchester United Supporter

“You’re getting the on-screen Eamonn Holmes, confused with the off-screen Eamonn Holmes”, the real-life Eamonn Holmes complained, “The off-screen Eamon Holmes is a season ticket holder at Anfield”, the genuine Eamonn Holmes claimed, quickly hiding a signed A1 photo of Sir Alex Ferguson behind the sofa in his six-bedroom mansion.

Eamonn Holmes is married to fellow TV Presenter Ruth Langsford

“You see you’ve done it again”, the bonafide Eamonn Holmes responded, “The on-screen Eamonn Holmes is married to Ms Langsford, where as I am actually married to Doris Dorrison (54) of 51B Wilfred Bramble Lane,  Barton Stacey”

While presenting This Morning in October 2011, Holmes described singer Jonathan Wilkes as “retarded” on air.

“Exactly the sort of thing the Imaginary Eamon Holmes would controversially say”, said the legitimate Eamonn Holmes, “You know it can take me as long as 17 seconds to get into character”

In 2009 Eamonn Holmes took legal action against the BBC after Jon Culshaw impersonated him on ‘Deadringers’

“Yes that is something the actual Eamonn Holmes did”, the real Eamonn Holmes confessed, “but that’s only because he was impersonating the off-screen Eamonn Holmes by associating traits of the on-screen Eamonn Holmes in a fabricated off-screen scenario”

‘Deadringers’ has never featured Eamonn Holmes as a character since

“It’s a stupid show anyway”, the off-screen Eamon Holmes concluded, “A group of people pretending to be other people, caricaturing on-screen personas, in most off-screen situations, whilst on-screen. It’s a tricky legal area as far as the taxman is concerned. Want to see my George Best impression?”

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