DWP relieved as State Pension ‘Ponzi’ scheme secures victory over Women

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State Pension 'Ponzi' scheme secures victory over Women

Campaigners have lost a significant legal battle against the government’s handling of the rise in women’s state pension age.

Hundreds of Women campaigners had gathered outside the court hoping for a favourable outcome, including the lion’s share of £215B backdated pension payments. When the Judgement in favour of the state was announced a senior work and pensions spokesman was overheard saying, ‘thank fuck for that. The Ponzi scheme lives on – Hail Madoff.’

The retirement age for women rose from 60 to 65, in line with men, and will go up to 66 by 2020, and to 67 by 2028.

The fear amongst all future state pensioners is when will the age retirement number stop increasing? We asked Maths genius and part-time conspiracy theorist Frank Gifford for his take. ‘If you consider the state is technically insolvent, plus people are living longer, I would say by 2050 – you ain’t getting jack-shit!’

Women born in the 1950s claim the rise is unfair because they were not given enough time to make adjustments to cope with years without a state pension. They argued the changes were discrimination, but judges disagreed.

Apparently, there’d been a nasty rumour flying around the Courtroom. If the Judges had ruled in favour of the Women, they could have jeopardised the gold-plated pensions received by the pre 2015 Judicial system. ‘Absolute Poppycock, who started this nonsense?’ Ranted retired Judge Sir Spalding Calloway-Dunlop… from his Villa in Tuscany.

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