DWP intros ‘Purge’ system – allowing jobseekers to kill somebody and take their job

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DWP intros 'Purge' system - allowing jobseekers to kill somebody and take their job

UNIVERSAL CREDIT changes were announced by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) last month, and will come into effect in a few days.

One of these new changes is a ‘purge’ style system, where a claimant will be legally able to murder somebody and steal their job.
This new ruling is a measure to help with both unemployment, and population control following a post-brexit supply shortage.

The new ruling is called the ‘Talented Mr Ripley’ scheme, and the DWP released a statement earlier, expanding on what it aims to achieve with it:

“In October, people claiming UC will now be able to gain work by an ‘assimilation’ system. If a claimant is able to murder somebody at their place of business, then they will be legally entitled to the victim’s job.

It must be stressed that this ruling only applies to individuals currently claiming Universal Credit; if you in full time employment then this will merely be an act of murder, and the DWP will not be held responsible for any repercussions.

If a claimant is working part-time but still claiming benefits, then the killing must allow them to obtain a position above the benefits threshold, or else this will still just be murder.

If the claimant spent time planning the murder, they must show evidence of this, as this is time that could have been spent searching for work.

If a claimant has trouble finding a target, their work coach will assist them with suitable victims, based on experience and existing skillset.

We are eager to see this process implemented in our continuing goal to get UK citizens back into work.”

At the moment, the only victims considered off limit are:

-DWP staff members
-The Pope
-Actress and Comedian Emma Thompson
-Anybody representing the UK in the 2020 Olympics
-Romesh Ranganathan

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