DUP Slams Johnson Deal As ‘Worst of All Worlds’ – but amazingly don’t hand back £1bn Tory Bung

UK Politics
Boris Johnson kicks British parliament onto roof so nobody else can play with it

The DUP leader Arlene Foster has demanded honesty from the government on Brexit as she vowed to keep opposing Johnson’s half-baked shitty deal until changes are made.

“We have propped up their lame government with our confidence and supply agreement since ‘old mother May’ bungled the 2017 election, and this is all the gratitude we get,” bemoaned the leader of the dinosaurs, Foster, “Shafted up the chutney by that mendacious old-Etonian twat Johnson. Well, we won’t take this lying down.”

The bio-fuel buffoon then barked, “I have NEVER taken anything lying down.”

An unsurprised press pack were quick to point out that the DUP’s agreement with the Tories was not an act of philanthropy by the DUP. The fact is the Tories scandalously paid them, and they greedily accepted, over £1 billion of taxpayers’ money to keep Mrs. May’s sorry arse firmly locked in the No. 10 seat of power.

The cub reporter from the UK comic, The Beano, pressed Ms. Foster as to whether she was considering returning the disgraceful £1bn bribe back to the UK taxpayers.

“They can feckin’ kiss goodbye to that!” bellowed the queen of Northern Ireland cock-ups, “That’s all been spent on my latest bio-fuel give-away to my pals.”

At a meeting of the faithful, the DUP’s leader told delegates that Boris Johnson’s Brexit deal was ‘the worst of all worlds.’

The spokesman at Westminster for the DUP, Nigel Dodds, added, “This deal is an abomination. It drives a coach and horses through the border down the Irish sea. It’s not fair on those horses, or the driver. Someone could get drowned! Besides, we have modern things now, like for instance steam traction engines and, at some point in the future, things called motorcars. We don’t need coaches and horses anymore… Is it time to take my medicine now, nurse? I’m tired and want to go back to 1920.”

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