Donald Trump cancels meeting with Taliban, as they have “nothing new to teach me” about how to destroy America.

World News
Donald Trump cancels meeting with Taliban, as they have nothing new to teach me about how to destroy America

Donald Trump has cancelled secret talks on Afghanistan that would have brought him face to face with Taliban members.

Sources have said that Trump cancelled the event after speaking to advisors who informed him of the Taliban’s actions over the past decade.

After hearing these reports, The President cancelled the meeting, noting he would just be ‘wasting time with a bunch of chumps who haven’t done anything famous for nearly 20 years’, and that there was nothing they could teach him about ‘dismantling the American government’.

The Taliban warned on Sunday that the cancellation meant more American lives would be lost.

On twitter, the President scoffed at these threats in a rushed series of tweets; these have been combined and edited below for clarity.

The Taliban (TaliBAD more like) are going to retaliate for me cancelling a meeting with them. What are they going to do; kill a few soldiers with a roadside bomb? I’ve made it so you can get ten times as many people in a weekend (Obama never had those numbers!) by some patriot at a Walmart with a perfectly legal assault rifle! They have nothing new they can teach me!!!

An ex-Taliban member spoke to the media earlier today, weighing in on the cancelled meeting.

“Obviously the Taliban have to save face and react with anger, but honestly they’re way below Trump’s level and know it. We were trying to destroy America for over decade, and look what he’s done in three years; have you seen Puerto Rico? Look what he’s done to that, and he doesn’t even live there! I think the Taliban are embarrassed how Trump is showing them up in the ‘ruining America’ category, and are relieved he’s cancelled, as they’d have nothing to contribute to his plan to radically destabilise America.”

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