Dominic Cummings Self-Isolates After Developing Symptoms of Being a Cunt

Popular Right Now, UK Politics
House of Cummings undertakes next steps in undermining parliamentary sovereignty

The Prime Minister’s most senior adviser is self-isolating, after developing symptoms of coronavirus this weekend.

Medical experts confirmed Dominic Cumming, the architect of the current political catastrofuck,  is in fact, self-isolating, after developing symptoms of becoming a total cunt.

Dominic Cummings is the latest of Boris Johnson’s top team to fall ill, with the Health Secretary Matt Hancock and Chief Medical Officer Chris Whittey self-isolating and going into quarantine last week.

No 10 sources are becoming nervous. They have confirmed Cummings will work remotely but the government appear to be running out of total cunts, with only Patel and Gove left and the virus seems reluctant to move in on them.

Mr Cummings was seen running out of the back gate of Downing Street on Friday after Mr Johnson revealed he had tested positive for the virus.

The special adviser’s symptoms started with the usual reprehensible bullying, intimidation but quickly escalated to fullscale cuntedness when he was spotted shouting and spitting in everyone’s face, sneezing on every towel and even spat in the kettle. His total cunt reputation appears well-earned.

Last night the Prime Minister posted a video insisting the country will beat the coronavirus crisis together. Later tonight though, there are plans for the PM to broadcast another video encouraging everyone in the UK to stop at 8 pm and applaud…

This time to clap and applaud in support of total cunts.

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