“Dodgy but stable” Whaley dam the envy of “Dodgy but precarious” Johnson premiership

Home Affairs, UK Politics
“Dodgy but stable” Whaley dam the envy of “Dodgy but precarious” Johnson premiership

Boris Johnson has visited a damaged dam still at risk of bursting in Whaley, Derbyshire. The prime minister met local residents and the emergency services in Whaley Bridge and said the operation to shore the dam up “may go on for a few days”.

Johnson described the situation as “dodgy but stable” and a “substantial risk”.

When asked to clarify, Johnson claimed he was referring to the dam, not his status as a publicly un-elected leader with a majority of one.

Johnson added if it collapses, destruction could be wreaked “on villages, on livelihoods, families and on homes.”

Again, Johnson was forced to clarify he was referring to the dam, not his non-nonsensical Brexit policy which economists have roundly panned this week.

“The situation as it is, there’s a real danger of people being covered in filthy sewerage.”

When questioned a 3rd time, a visibly annoyed Johnson “Oh come on! There is no possible way anyone could draw a link to spewing muck and my last PMQ’s appearance!”

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